Sometimes I look up And the sky is not there I try to breathe But there is no air They’ve taken it away Everything I have Dimensional and Complex Now shallow and flat Deflated and lost
Hurt and confused I put all of this Trust in you Why do you do this Why do I try? You never tell the truth But you never really lie So I can’t be mad But I am not happy Who would’ve known I’d react this badly?
Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you care? I pull myself to pieces I always compare Myself to these girls That you lust for and seek I change myself countless times So you will notice me
And when I pull back You never understand You want to make it better But you’re the reason it got out of hand
And I want to hug you back But I want to break you down And I want to accept this for what it is But I want to push you to the ground
I hate you But I hate me more I hate everything around me But I can’t disappoint you like before
I have to stay happy And kind and sweet Even though these things you do Stab and sting And take all the will And the patience I saved For this avoided but imminent Rainy day I brought my umbrella But the wind took it away with a gust I want be honest But don’t want to break trust And I need for someone to love me To fill up this hole In my heart, In my purpose for living, In my spirit and soul I need someone to tell me That I’m not ******* insane Someone that sees things like me Who gets the choices I make And the ones that I don’t
I’m stuck in my mind Let me out, PLEASE Nothing heals better than time
Until it doesn’t And it is useless I am ******* stupid I can’t do this
I’m a liar You don’t know me I’m a liar But I am lonely So please please please Just hold me, hold me So please, pretty please, Just hold me closely I’m cold and afraid But you are so cozy Ow STOP It’s burning, It’s burning You’re hurting me, STOP Why do you hurt me Why do lie Why are you turning Into a monster The tables are turning
Let me go I don’t have to let you do this But I am stupid I can not do this I hold you closely As you julienne my spine Pulling the knives out every time you leave Just a canvas of scars developed over time
But you don’t care Or maybe you do I’m lonely and scarred I’m confused Cause you do these things That show you care Then pull back or you lie And our bond disappears Then I can’t actually talk to you And say what I mean My stepmom is in the other room So I’m holding back, but I just want to scream I want to cry And make you feel this way Want to shake the sense into you Make you understand this pain
Of being so close Yet being held back so far Of thinking you know who someone is Just to find out who they really are
Why don’t you love me? Why am I not enough? I’ve given all I can And I don’t think I’ll ever experience love
I can’t even touch another person Without feeling disgusted But I’m too nice or too in denial To discuss it
But when touch finally meant something good I learned it wasn’t special While I might mean something to you I am part of the several
I’m not unique I am only another Person in line Why even bother To entertain me And my wishful thoughts Unless you are evil And my tears get you off
You are so stupid Do you see what you’ve done? What you said you would be Versus what you’ve become I keep trying to tell you But the words get stuck In the back of my throat So silence will have to be enough But you want substance so I pour out my heart And you act like you comprehend You wouldn’t just accept me because I am me If you were my friend
I am so empty I can’t imagine myself In a place of acceptance Can’t remember hoping for anything else
Stuck in a cycle of loathing you And needing your company I keep pushing you away But I need you to love me
Love me Love Me Tell me you love Me I need to hear How much you want Me First priority Second to Nobody Push and pull Till you see you’ve undone Me Too afraid to accept what you’ve done So you don’t confront me You lie, You pretend Try to act like its Funny
You made me fall, and now I’m crashing And you just want to hug me? You made me walk through fire Just so you could put it bluntly You let me burn all of those bridges Even though you knew you weren’t running You should’ve just killed me then I hate when your lies punch me And bruise me, And you stories hurt me, and your change of heart stuns me I should’ve known better That is why they judge me
You say they don’t matter But you steady stay on their side You always give them A chance to prove they’re right Listen to their reasons And then throw the fight Always putting me last To make sure she doesn’t cry Throwing me under the bus Countless times Acting like I did you wrong Because I pointed out your lies I can’t stand this anymore So I’m sitting down and letting out a sigh And taking all these hits To keep you in my life But would you go through this for me? Am I even worthy in your eyes? I must be nothing to you Because you never see how you make me flat line
do you not see? do you ever notice me? can you tell when i can’t breathe do you even understand the capacity of your actions and the way they control the world around me? are you blind or are you dense common sense intelligence practicality experience i don’t understand don’t comprehend are you blind? must i remind you of all the times i gave what i didn’t have just to hear you call yourself mine and then in the end you take it all back like i was the one who surprised you with all this love **** i waited to say it back cause i didn’t want it to be a lie your cloying lips just let it fall into my hands when “i love you” meant nothing at the time
so don’t hate me i will try to do the same but i can’t make any promises i am in pain i don’t want to hurt but i want to see you cry as well after all the tears i’ve wasted and how much you’ve made me hate myself please don’t hate me i will never really mean this without the thought of you to soothe me my lonesome nights are dreamless