Disgustingly sweet
Your loves leaves me with a bitter feeling
Like we both deserve so much more than this
But there are times I lose myself
In your eyes, In my dreams
I get lost in our kiss
You are real
You are something present, I can see you
Something I can touch
But when I try to reach out
You disappear
And so does our love

Why do I always choose
The ones that cause the most pain
Why am I letting this get past me
When there’s nothing for me to gain
From hurting you or myself
Or entertaining these games
I want to feel wanted
But I need to go away

And you keep asking why I didn’t
Hit you up, Call you back
Left you on read
Like what was I thinking?
Don’t I love you?
I was focused on the what ifs instead
Like what if this is pointless
And we fight for nothing
We love to lose
I’m just not sure what I want
I am not doing this
Just to hurt you

And it's not that I hate you
It’s how I hate feeling like
You are never really present
I tell you all these things
But your eyes are all glossy
And I wonder why I even said it
Like why waste my breath
Or my time
Just so you can get the message
You blame me for feeling alone
When you are always on
A mental vacation

Where I can’t reach you
Boy, do I try
I’m always just a touch away
But you’re just too far
And it hurts to not have you
So I just give up and shift the blame
From you to me
I shouldn’t have expected you
To be who you say
It is ******* crazy
I thought you wouldn’t
Disappoint or betray
But it’s all over now
My tears are dry
So why do I still feel pain?
Why does my
Indecisive heart continue to
Break

Why do I always choose
The ones that cause the most pain
Why am I letting this get past me
Why do I make these choices?
Why do I wake up
Just to fall back asleep?
Why do I love?
Why do I care when it always
Backfires on me?
Why do I argue?
Why do I hurt you
Just because you don’t answer my questions?
Why do I care?
Why do I care?
Power of suggestion
Why do I come back
When I fought so hard to leave?
Why do I go back and forth?
Why do I even try
to make this relationship
Work anymore?

Why do I need to go away?
You’re everything that is good
Yin and Yang, Night and Day
There is bad in the good, babe
You were worst promise I ever made
But definitely my best mistake
Why do I always choose
The ones that cause the most pain?