The loud noises,
The laughter.
I hear them now,
Even though I am miles away.
Their voices hang in the air
Like pictures.
Forever reminding me of what could have been.
I could have done this,
I could have changes myself
I could have been the one who didn’t
Die.
But, I wasn’t.
I choose to stay true to myself
To be who I wanted to be
I choose to not let their views affect me.
I choose who I was without the help of other
Who would criticize my every move
Who would try to make me something I was not.
The voices,
The laughter,
Are hallow.
I know they all wanted to be like me,
Free, not carrying about a thing,
Different.
That world defines me.
I don’t blend in with the crowd.
I am the one you can pick out easily.
I am the only one who is different.
Now more so than ever.
I can watch them without their knowledge
I can influence their lives
I can make them who they want to be.
I could be alive,
But that would take away who I was.
I could be the girl who no one saw for years
And changed the most.
But I wasn’t.
I died, not because anyone wanted me to
Or because I wanted to.
I died because I was needed elsewhere.
I was needed to help those around me in
A way they will never know.
I died to help everyone, to be their guardian angel,
To be their loved one.
I did not die
I am not in a coffin,
But I am so invisible
I could be dead.