It seems as though,
You've let go.
I sit here and wonder why
Can't I?
It's not that I want you back,
Because, really, I can live without that,
But then I smell your scent, or hear a song,
And it takes me back to when nothing felt this wrong.
This time there isn't a she
Just that fact that it isn't me.
You didn't need a temporary distraction,
You just divided me out of your fraction.
But freedom is ringing,
And free time keeps screaming,
I don't really have much to do,
Now that I'm living without you.
It's not that you were the best I could have in my life,
Because when you left, I found in my back, a knife.
It's just that I remember everything I did for you,
And the sweet taste of times when you did things for me too.
You helped me find the strength to accept the death of my mother,
You kept me calmed down, when I found out that I had a brother.
When my ***** holder went to jail, you held me that night,
When my Dad died, I needed you, but you weren't in sight.
But then you were, but you weren't mine.
I know that I'll find someone that will make me able to feel,
And God made another of me to love you more than I ever will,
But I can't help taking a stroll down memory lane,
Even if it results in momentary pain.
My mouth doesn't speak your name anymore,
But still, from pen, I find that it pours.
You were the first person to make me feel good,
To make me feel beautiful and important and understood.
You made me feel **** you made me feel smart.
You made me feel ways, I didn't think I could with my heart.
You were the first to make me feel alive, like I was enough
You were the first to make me feel love.
After you left I didn't know what to do,
Except turn all of my hatred towards you.
And the girls that came after me.
And the person that I could never be.
In ten years, I will love someone new.
Get married, and have a baby or two.
We'll live together and dance in the moon,
But I will still remember you.
And how we spent our teenage years, right from the start,
In Summer heat, and Winter nights, and Fall and Spring under the stars.
You've changed me in all the ways a person should be changed,
And showed me things in my life that I should rearrange.
Not only did I love you,
But I loved the person you made me into.
And I felt that when you left me alone,
The good part of me would have followed you home.
And as I question what I need to do, I glance up above,
And realize that I need to start a new chapter in this terrible thing called love.
But this one might be the hardest one, I've ever had to write,
Because I have to love myself before I can love anyone right.
I've put down the razor for good,
The way that I should.
And I've found better things to do,
Then to sit around and wait for you.
I'm adding new habits to an old personality,
Because I want to be the best person that I can be.
You've casted the outline to the person I need,
But the things you didn't do, doesn't help me.
Out of 7 billion people,
You're still not the person for me.
But I can learn to expect things like that
On my road to recovery.