Today is a day that you should be happy
           that it is illegal to **** people
                 just for the hell of it

I'm talking to you!
No, not you!
You there!
With the baseball jersey and very odd nose!

It's your lucky day my boy,
lucky this gun is only a toy.
Lucky this  fist isn't made of iron!
If your face was all black and blue, would everyone still admire?
Would you still be Mr. Popular,
Would you make the ladies swoon?
If I rearranged that pretty face
to look like a baboon.
Would you be mad if I took a sledge hammer,
To the windshield of your car?
Would it be inappropriate of me
to smash it with a bar?
I would never do any if this of course,
I am far too nice.
But if it wasn't illegal to **** people,
Well, I don't think I'd think twice.