i need a reason to believe my
"friends"
haven't given up on me.
i need a reason to understand why i am so unlikable
i need a reason to know why i'm always the last pick
with better
kinder
prettier
people always climbing over me.
i need a reason to understand where my qualifications for being considered "worth it"
went wrong.
i need a reason for the endless feelings of loneliness and isolation.
i need some solid substantial evidence that can help explain why the second i start trusting someone
they seem to forget about me.

is this paranoia?
is this a normal situation my mind is altering?

is this reality?
is this the way it has to be?
with being last and being left out and simply not being enough to be
included?
if this is the way it is going to be,
please just give me a reason why.

- a.g.