I’ve experienced enough pain, I’m trying to seek what brings me happiness
so i no longer have to beat myself up & live with so much anger & madness
It took 25 yrs for me to love the man i kept seeing in the mirror
but after realizing a few things, a lot of qualities became clearer
I gave my love to a lot of toxic people which inspired the self hate that i grew attached to
telling myself over & over that I’m worthless & no one really loves you
It’s crazy how anxiety can make you feel like you’re a burden to most
even those who you’ve opened up to & eventually became close
I’ve been at war with myself for all this time, the war between my heart & my head
with my head convincing me that I’m better off dead
I’ve been hurt a lot in the past so the flashbacks tend to weight heavy
on my mental pausing me from believing in myself so I’ve been declining steady
As I’m transitioning from my former self to a new version of the man that I’ve doubted
i see a new man full of self appreciation & I’m completely astounded
Though the war is far from won, i keep fighting hoping victory is within my grasp
trying to steer clear from the mind tricks within mind that tend to often run laps
I see a great man who’s been shattered but slowly he’s pulling himself together
while learning to love & accept himself 10x better
No longer looking at the world thru anxiety
but thru the view of his own reality
From never cracking a smile walking with his head down
to gracing life with a new found happiness, refusing to let toxic energy ignite a frown
I stand proud of the man I’m becoming & grateful to the man i used to be
for he taught me to appreciate thyself before allowing others to love me
-Poetic Venom