I looked at the wedding list for a bit
- and then I bought the kettle,
An expensive one from John Lewis
- shiny blue and made of metal.

At the reception I was introduced to his bride
- A pretty girl called Susie,
We'd actually met a few years before
- And had had *** in a Jacuzzi.

I think about her now and again
- and wonder if she thinks of me,
Perhaps when she's standing in the kitchen
- Making a cup of tea.