Nov 2018
Holding a knife to my skin
I hoped for the relief
that I would normally receive
But I closed my eyes and
my hand moved faster,
harder than normal
When I looked at my skin
I realized that maybe
I should have kept my eyes open
I screamed through a screen
to anyone that could possibly help
but no one answered my cries
Panic rose up in my throat
and before I knew it
I was running through the halls
Sitting in front of toilet
my stomach was trying to
push up my last meal
But when nothing happened
I fell back
And let the tears fall
I hoped for the relief
that I would normally receive
But I closed my eyes and
my hand moved faster,
harder than normal
When I looked at my skin
I realized that maybe
I should have kept my eyes open
I screamed through a screen
to anyone that could possibly help
but no one answered my cries
Panic rose up in my throat
and before I knew it
I was running through the halls
Sitting in front of toilet
my stomach was trying to
push up my last meal
But when nothing happened
I fell back
And let the tears fall
The first time I ever used an actual knife to cut. I ran my fingers along the blade a lOT before cutting and it seemed dull enough, but i guess it was a lot sharper than I thought it was. I didn't look at my leg when I cut and I regret it all so much. It wasn't neccisarially a bad cut but it was a lot deeper than normal and I was really scared.
