Were you bullied as a kid?

I'm asked that often.
I'm not really sure why.

I know my dad was.
I know my best friend was
along with many others,
but I myself was never directly bullied.

Instead
I watched in silence
as others were attacked.
Empathy would surge through my veins
but never with enough courage to help.
I internalized what I saw
shared in the shame and tears,
all the while doing my best to blend in
so as not to be the next target.

I succeeded.
I was never bullied by another.

Over the years though
I became
my own worst enemy.
Using the cruel words of others
I have bullied myself to the edge.
Relentless in its criticism,
ruthless with its words
the bully within
has cut me down
again and again
draining me of my worth
and self compassion.

I just want it to stop.

I just want the bully to go away.