Sometimes it seems I go
straight from shaking so
hard I can barely fit my
key in the lock
to shut the door
to close out the world
to finally letting it all
slide to the floor
Sometimes I go straight
past GO and I forget
to collect myself or
anything else into
a plausible picture
to fool myself
to fool everyone else
to drop knees first
onto my pillow
Sometimes it seems
I plan my big sleep
I plan it while I'm
still sleeping
to collect the pills
to neglect the bills
and watch the sun
go round from one
side of the house
to the other.