today in Birmingham a man
clad in a post-atomic era Russian
nuke suit was pulled from his
windowless van by a trod of
hysterical mothers and slapped silly.

suspect was released from the hairdo
menagerie when police arrived at the scene
and assured the old biddies that yes, he really
just wanted to distribute free
organic
fairtrade
raw
sustainable
candy.

bought a cheap used toaster yesterday
what a world.