I knew my father's death-date before I knew his birthday.  Felt a hint of shame in saying that, but he wasnt around, nothing to celebrate.  I was under the impression he didn't want me, so I left even the thought of knowing him behind.  I held resentment buired in my heart for a long time, dormant, for he didn't often cross my mind.  When tensions were high as a child sometimes I would get the, "...live with your father." threats...but what would scare me most about that was leaving my friends.  
  A few myspace messages are all we had, but through it I got to see how you represented yourself.  Warm and caring.  You definitely liked to have fun, but while you were able, you were there for those that needed you for love.  Mom, as I got older, would trip out over the resemblance...but beyond looks; voice&personality.  Your birthday is December 12th, and I get to celebrate it at a rap show with friends in New Orleans.  12/12...one two one two, the hip-hop in me once breathed in the hip-hop in you.  Today is ten years, wild how fast the time flies.  No longer though do I sit and wonder why.  Feel free to press send on the message from the heaven you settled in.  
   We met for three days when you came to visit ma n me while I was 3.  1+2, 1+2...3, 3.  I must be being watched over by a 33rd degree - angel.  Your loss was painful.  I'm still learning how to heal & study angles from the pool table.   Seriously playful, but I had to learn to pick up self whenever my head would hang low.   Christmas 2008 was planned for...but November 16th brought too much snow.  Yeah, it blows.  But I've already had my sadness overdose.  We were getting close to being close, but your absence in life taught me how to grow.  Taught me how to stay warm when your environment is cold.  Just wish I could hear your thoughts of all you'd want me to know.  Still, energy forever flows, this book is never closed.
           Love you pops