A buzzing conundrum
Hiding among the pane of glass
Large and striped
Sending shivers down my spine
Someone please come exterminate them.

It's very cold in Chicago now
The bugs and the snow
In mid November remind me why I gotta go.

I make more coffee
And use two different cups
It's time to get dressed but I don't want to get stung.

You go back and forth between us
Like we too, hide and buzz
Among the pane of your windowsill
I wait patiently in my pain to be exterminated
Or stung.

Shaking off the feeling
Of the image the tarot card reader read for me
A man stabbed with ten swords
That's the place I've been living in
With all of this
And I'm not yet sure
How to not wait
How to not hurt
How to not expect stings.

You are gone now
So is my other lover
Home, abroad for the holiday
I'm glad.
It's almost like I've got Chicago to myself again.

It's been harder for me to want to pick up the pace
To run around with gumption each day
Someone I guess you could call an old friend
Messaged me after the event last night
And told me to keep being me.

Everything can change in an instant
I close my eyes, trying to let go and shake it
Out and up
I stay because I choose to.

Fighting off that aching feeling
Of what felt like healing kisses and words
You have such a hard time holding my gaze
When I fill the cup up with words
Your physical sensuality and your ***** talk
Does all the work.

I haven't been as into it lately--you're right.
Existing and breathing and fighting
To want to mean so much
You've got plans right after me
To see her.

Maybe I can sense it, feel it
The idea of this other girl in the room
I tease that it's me watching
How I'd get involved
We'd dismiss her at the end
Laying in bed together we finish the words
Of one another's fantasizes
Like it's some kind of exercise
I check the love I feel for you
I check it hard and at the door
I just don't know

That there is room for it here
Among the wasps.