Just a Preacher's son from Barnstable in Devon
on the outskirts where the country roads have no chevron
had a gal called Mary who sang in a choir in Avon
The years went and mama and papa grew old and passed on
Bid farewell to Mary packed my bags and moved on

To London I came a large bustling town that is a top one
Got a job found a place settle in and life was right on
Made friends had a laugh and learnt to talk like Klingons
Went to a party and couldn't tell the girls apart what a rave on
Met Simone with short hair who said I don't do weave-ons

We danced and drank and soon she became my favourite one
Says come home with me we'll have a blast with the lights on
But see that chick over there in yellow she's such a turn on
I'll go get her to come with us and we'll have a *******
Hey Sim! I spluttered, hold on a mo what has brought this on

I'm just a Preacher's son from Barnstable in Devon
I'm green round the gills new in town and not very right-on
She's my lover she said, let's go, get our ******* skates on
Me turning green, papa's rolling and mama screaming 'hold on'
I married your father for forty years never ever such a carry-on

It's a new world now, it's London and everything is full on
But cut me some slack I am just a Preacher's son from Devon
Even if the dogs do this in Devon I never saw, they never let on
Oh said Simone, take a hike, you're a Tory with a small one
Well said I, my work is done, I can leave now, I will move on!