My heart beats aren’t instrumental . They’re painful . And there’s no rhythm to remedy the wreck that I am . Every lub-dub is an alarm clock waking me up to my reality. A reminder that I’m still broken . That I’m still inhaling what kills me .
Staring into the darkness and hoping to see the moon again has been a constant routine. It’s beautiful, really . However waking up everyday with no more knowledge than the previous day has also presented itself as a familiar face and it aches me to think that on some days, I’m okay with that .