I stared across the sluggish sidewalks
at the rising sun humming sad tunes
in late December, hovering in a
sea of swollen space, shallow
and surfacing.  I looked at the
falling leaves from trees, how
their hazy surface crumbled
in endless edges, sunbaked
and soundless, scattering in
scorched yellowing grass.  

There was a mixed feeling
inside my heart as I gazed
at the slow-moving vehicles
driving by.  I could see the
whirling smoke seeping in
the air from their swelling
engines, loud vibrating rhythms
raining in reverberating syllables.
I turned around and saw a young
gentleman walking into a shopping
center, his stone blue eyes a drifting
reflection of what I was carrying inside.

I could see behind that serene smile a
broken shell filled with emptiness and
speechless mechanics.  His somber
shirt and stained blue jeans was a
mere depiction of small silent roses
sinking beyond hope.  I thought to
myself – I know the pain that you
are harboring inside.  I know the secret
that you cannot hide.  And as I saw
his shadow fade away, I could feel the
strong diction drumbeating my existence.  
The collapsing cheeks.  The stripped
muscles breaking into smudged songs.  
I listened to the fold and unfold in my arms,
how its shuffling sound froze in midair,
how my scratchy ankles settled in
unspoken angles, an abandoned geometry
trapped in razor ***** equations.

I stood still in my driver seat as I
sipped on my ice-cold coffee, allowing
it's conflicted contents to sift inside
my veins, let it arrive at a moment
in time when I could feel the beats rise,
the hypnotic blaze igniting a wave
of mazes across my chest.  I was existing
beyond endless worlds.  I could breathe
in the melodic notes without hesitation.
I could hear the falling rain drizzle
outside my home, all high rising and
harmonious, a sparkling soul lost in
the sweet escape.

But as I continued drinking my coffee,
I could see the crimson flames intensifying,
stabbed seagulls floating in silence, vanishing
bluebirds gone in broken down realities,
all sunken deep and lowering.  Everything
was unstable.  The quivering beats.  The circle
of damaging labyrinths.   The shattered rain
yellowing my existence.  The whispering
wind reminding me that the pain will never
fade away.  

And at those words, I saw the same young
man scurrying out of the store towards
his vehicle, earthbound frame unfamiliar
and steady changing, hard heart-shaped
cheeks muted and unmoving, a burning
scar just like mine, split and swollen.