in younger years
i remember trying so hard
to gain the affection of the opposite ***
and i'm not really sure why because well

in middle school there was this girl
named dezarae and everyone loved her
because she was thin and wore make up
and her hair was always nice
just like her clothes that accentuated her
blossoming *******

i think there was a boy named kyle
or something similar to that
i'm not sure anymore
but he was always around her
as well as me
since i guess dezarae considered me her best friend
and at first i liked kyle
but then i liked her

it was around that time that
i met this other girl named amber
who wore glasses and had long hair
that didn't always look nice
and her clothes weren't the best
just like her teeth
but i remember she was as thin as a twig
and just as flatchested as i was

we became the best of friends
and i felt equal in her company
my feelings for her grew
when we would spend friday nights together
at each others house
depending on what week it was

but i remember her and i speaking one day
gossiping about everyone at school
like dezarae and i don't know why
but i lied when amber asked me
"well i heard dezarae was bisexual
she likes girls and boys
isn't that disgusting?"
i replied with
"oh gosh what
that is just
so gross"

i was so confused
why was it so wrong
to like someone who was just the same
as you are
because i liked amber
in a way that i should have liked a boy.