A second choice
The back up plan
An "if she says no" second thought.
That's all I am to you.
And I wasn't even worth that
To her.
No, she wanted you.
And what was she to you?
A sideline play?
The same as I am now?
But to me she was far more than that
More than you gave her.
More than anyone ever did.
And now you hate her, she hates you too.
Shouldn't I hate her too?
I mean after all that's happened
It seems only right.
But I'm more uncomfortable with you
For hurting her now.
She remains in my thoughts,
A haunting memory.
I'll still feel the urge to protect her
Though I laugh when you joke about her,
I know I'll feel it later.
The guilt that I could witness her last breath.
That I may cause it.
I couldn't find a way to save her,
Now I can't save you either.
So I'll drown on my own
In the pain
in the memories
in my head
With no one left to save me.