I think sunlight must be running through my veins
I feel like honey and wine
I feel the way I used to feel
In the mountains
In the bright warmth
Air so pure it made you dizzy
And the sky like a blue blanket
Soft and inviting.
Being with you
Laughing with you
Feels like sitting on the porch during a heavy rainstorm
Watching the chaos
And breathing in the scent of damp wood and stone
Safe from the cold and the wet
Clutching a cup of hot chocolate.
Being with you feels like
Lying on a foreign beach
Under a cloudless sky
And fearlessly letting the sun kiss my skin
Mind hazy with heat and contentment
Hair made wild by the water and sand.
I haven’t felt safe much
In my life
I haven’t felt whole
But I feel it with you.
I feel like I belong here when I’m with you.
So often I am an observer, a bystander, someone who records
Beautifully
The world
But cannot be in it
And cannot be touched by it.
When you touch me I remember all the times I’ve ever felt real
All the times I’ve been truly reached by anything.
If there is a home for me anywhere on earth
It is this feeling
And it lights me up from the inside,
Rolling off me in waves
My joy to live
My joy to be
It’s back, it’s here,
And while it stays, I bask in it like healing sunlight.