It was the night before Christmas
A dilemma arose
The temperature dropped
And Mike Klein's car was froze
With a last minute errand
And a trip to the wash
It was minus 18
And it was frozen...by gosh
With an ice pick and hammer
And two friends and some beer
Mike attacked the stuck window
With his ice breaking gear
He swung with the hammer
Missed the car by a yard
slipped on some ice
And went down really hard
He had some de-icer
He remembered at last
But it was in the car
And that train had past
His wife was now waiting
For Mike to take them to mass
But Mike....as we know
Was in the garage on his ***
He thought for a moment
I've a small propane torch
I could melt my way in
With nary a scorch
So he looked for his lighter
He looked near and looked far
Then he looked through the window
It was inside his car
He thought for a while
How he would tell his spouse
They'd not go to church
They were stuck at the house
When what to his Liberal eyes did appear
but, his beautiful wife
And she was holding a beer
"I don't care what happened
I don't want to know
But, get up off your ***
And get out of that snow
Go change your pants
I know this is fully your fault
But, I'll be right back
with a shaker of salt"
The salt broke the ice dam
And they left without worry
They were almost there late
But Mike drove in a hurry
And I heard him exclaim
As he started to go
"I will not wash the car
When it's eighteen below!!"