.it's not like i couldn't pay my bills at Edinburgh university, we didn't have internet access in our third year at home, but we had it, when visiting the library... so what? paying the gas and electricity bills is rocket science these days? the two of us paid them... so now it's supposedly, "hard"? mobile phone... what?! roaming internet access.... what?! car... what?! not a pair of legs?! oh yeah, i have a choice... either where i'm at... or the roof of star constellations in a forest... BIG LOSER... biggest loser of them all... the one that manages to fix up his grandparents' kitchen, and doesn't "think" his parents are lepers, or something to be ashamed of, basically a non-*****-bank donor's... attache of ******* egoism; your turn.

such a random array of people,
abstracting themselves
on the grounds of love...
or whatever love is...
   i said once:
        buy a dog first, before having
a child...
you can pet a dog for five years,
and then you can father / mother
a child...
             love... seems everyone's
love is just dandy, oh so pristine...
i drink...
        you probably watch t.v.,
match-made in heaven,
or Cerberus' ****...
       i make sandwiches that do not
resemble napkins...
i drink... ****... i said that already...
so basically as perfect as
an avocado on toast...
who does this sort of *******?!
is that crap even edible?!
     i don't want to know...
   i go to a bar,
i turn into a pseudo-Santa...
some smurf, some elf sits on my lap...
'is this the part where i get
a *******?'
      obviously i don't say
those words, i just insinuate
the Christmas metaphor...
          what the hell am i writing...
it's not even like i want
to look my best,
like i want to lie "hoping"
for a date...
           i did speed dating once,
back in Edinburgh...
let's just say...
               stroking a cat's head
amounts to the classification
of the more...
fruitful endeavors...
              dating... is that a western
"thing"? you know,
when people find thinking claustrophobic?
is that the point they start dating?
when a blank space is no longer
a redeemable "friend"?
            that time?
what other time?
              let me guess...
never walked a cemetery alone
at night...
that's one of them, right?
can't help you there...
you're supposed to be on your
own at those crux coordinates.