I wait

Till its dead silent, as close as humanly possible to the middle of the night

I'll post then

About loneliness
About broken hearts
About broken spirits
About the purpose of living

I'll write poetry for a lover I do not know
Serenade her with everything I think I need
Serenade her with things I think she needs
What is waxing rhapsodies?

Telling her she's beautiful
Tell her she's perfect
Tell her she's frozen twilight
Tell her she glows in moonlight

I'll project my scars

Connection
Expression
Coercion
Profession
Intention
Completion
Contention

I'll scream as loud as I can
With my fingers on a screen
Exchanging ink on pages
With letters on temporary status

All they while I'll hope they're asleep
All the while I'll hope you're asleep

Trying to connect to sleeping bodies
Hoping that they dream of me

I will hate
I will love
I will want
I will need

I will slowly break apart
I will slowly gather myself

All in the silent dark
Hoping that no one sees

Because I am alone
Because I am lonely

As much as I can
All of me
When no one else can hear
I will scream silently

Maybe one or two will see
I hope we share this part of me

It doesn't make much sense honestly
But I'm beginning to think

This is what they meant when they said depression

This sinking into moist cold mud

Without screaming
Without reaching

Silently in the dark