I feel a little bit of a sense
Of feeling lost
As the bright light that feels like a summer heat
In the midst of October
Glistens and hits my windows
Reminding me it's almost time to leave again.

Sometimes it feels like it is never enough
Our palms hold and touch
Your eyes absorb me all in
Like ice aflame
There is no denying our connection
As much as I'd like to make it small
Smaller.

I expand my limbs
Making big strokes on the internet
Hoping and looking for some kind of sense of self
I drink up coffee, ginger shots
Text another man
You leave and always come back.

I know you fear the future
The present is the biggest contender yet
My body aches from the late nights
Where I get little sleep these days
But my lovers give me lots of touching
Lots of loving.

You walk along the ring of fire
Words drip and struggle to release from you
I'm here with open arms I reassure you
Though I know and feel our time is limited
Do you ever feel that in your heart
Does it cause you pain like it does me?

You mentioned that I was cuter than your other lover
I told you I'm a good partner
Steering you towards a calm peace
I think of my time in Philadelphia
I think of all the different lives I lead
Preparing, drifting, claiming a present feeling.

Coffee.
Ginger shot.
Water.
Left over pizza.
Watching edits.
Therapy.
Gratitude.