I was talking to my best friend today
Out of the blue he quietly said something
The five words I never expected
The five words that now haunt me
The five words I once said to myself
The five words that worry me
The five words keeping me from sleep
The five words that scare me coming from him
The five words I pray won’t happen
The five words I’m afraid will happen
He said
“I want to **** myself”
My eyes started to water when he said it
He saw and said it was a joke
He said his bucket list was too long
But why would he say that
Why would he act so selfish
Why would he want to leave his family and friends
Why would he want to leave me
I need him
I don’t want him to take his life
I wish he knew that those five words
Caused me to cry as soon as I was alone
But I can’t tell him
Because he might want to take his life even more