Today, she dropped me like a stone
****! Now I'm all alone...

And I'm worse company than she was!

What's a singleton to do...
Watch a box set of Doctor Who?

Nope, I gave it back to her!

Where does my future lie?
And do I kiss my *** life goodbye?

It would be my first kiss for three years!

I could rediscover my social life...
Try to find my future wife.

I haven't had a good night for five years!

I'm sat on the sofa where we first kissed,
I was so drunk, her mouth I almost missed!

Her puke stain is still on the upholstery.