I have really bad anxiety, so I really don't like talking to strangers.
At the library, I brought ten cents, a roll of tape, and scissors from home.
I did this so I could make a photocopy, and not have to deal with people.
However, when I used the photocopier, I did it wrong, and got nothing.
So, I had to go and ask for help.
I was a little bit nervous, but more annoyed with the photocopier.
Actually, I kept thinking it was because the photocopier just wasn't working right.
So, after I went to the front desk, they redirected me to the reference desk upstairs.
Now, I just thanked the lady, and went upstairs to get some help from them.
The lady up there and nice and helped me, and I learned that I had done it wrong when I was downstairs.
After I thanked her for her help, I stayed upstairs & went to an empty left sided cubby, & my schedule didn't change after that.
I didn't realize until I was done with my Japanese studying for the day, that I hadn't had an anxiety attack.
And just now, I realized why that was.
I was so busy needing help to photocopy, that I just didn't think about it.
I didn't think that I was talking to a complete stranger, because I was too busy thinking about my task at hand.
Now, this might not be possible for me every day, but today, it was.
And with how bad my anxiety is, it makes me happy when I don't succumb to it.
I mean, just now, I have to try and contain it, because someone sat down beside me at the other guest computer here downstairs.
This makes me anxious, but she's not talking to me, so I'm just trying to act like she's not there.
I always get nervous that someone's gonna talk to me, for some reason.
And if someone talks to me while I'm eating when I'm outside, I just concentrate on my food, so I don't shut down.
I can talk for a second, but I always feel relieved when they walk away.
I mean, the lady just left, and I feel more at ease now.
I hate feeling this way, but that's the way it is.
I'm still learning how to manage my anxiety, but I did get things done today, so I think I'm doing okay.
Alright, I only have 6 more minutes until my 20 minutes on this guest computer are up, then I'm gonna go eat.
You know, I like this schedule, I really like coming to the library.
I actually wanna write a lot more, but I don't have much time.
I might write more when I go upstairs for the 120 minutes that those computers provide, but I might not.
I still have to work on my notebook that I'm writing for my new story.
But first, I have to complete all of the notebook, then I have to completely type up everything that I wrote down.
And when it comes to printing it out, that will be done at home.
At least, I hope it will be done at home.
I just don't wanna be a nuisance to everyone else who may want the printer.
But that's at least another week or two down the road, so I don't even need to think about that right now.
Alright, I think I'm done until after I eat my lunch and go back upstairs.
And I'm not going to say bye, because I think I'm gonna come back on before I continue working on the notebook.
So instead, I'll say, see you later!