sullen angels were never meant to stay
laying on wet bathroom floors
painted crimson from a toxic wine
for it to be my own I will claim
sorry for those I’ve pushed away
as my body and mind praised decay

I still pray at churches she had been
kneeling in concrete of disfigured ruins
only in the autumn
because it is nothing but hazel
the only times that I would return
and let my sorrows out then
when winter comes approaching
it’s the frostbitten tongue that can never pray

is glass shattered on the floor her diamonds sparkling like stars in visions of an overturned car
trying to forget everything that I sought
when it came to this one sided love
following a path where I dive into my fears
the last thing I’ll ever see
as the ocean takes my final breath
and an endless abyss awaits
or golden doors
or fiery flames

forgiving these scars that paint December trees
it was the only thing I could ever do
but looking in the mirror afters years
my face looks in disgust
the roots of insomnia digging into my eyes
wondering if I could ever become better

I’ve had sudden thoughts
of a shadow hanging on a Tuesday morning  
and shadows kneeling to become one indistinguishable shape
from the opened blinds, invading me one last time
ive had notes that have become part of the void
as to hide so none should ever find, but hoping that someone would
it’s these thoughts that try to drag
me to deaths ropes that terrify me the most
as to provide comfort when I’m blinded by a made-up dark future