My neighbour's a big hitter,
Within the Chartered Institute of Bullshitters,
He tells me he's a spy,
But he knows I know it's a lie!

Why does he say these things?!

Like the time he defused a bomb,
Or when he came first in a marathon.
I do, though, admire his conviction,
When telling me these outrageous fictions.

Why does he say these things?!

One day I will challenge his ****-and-bull stories,
Tell him I know it's all jack-a-nory.
But for now I take delight in stories, like:
His solo circumnavigation of the globe...on a tandem bike!

So I ask for the last time:

Why, oh why, does he say say these things?!