I buy Advil for the pain.
A disembodied ache,
Persistent and unyielding.
Something’s clawing at the inside of my mind
Or something’s trying to break in.

I buy a toy car.

I buy Pepto-Bismol for the anxiety.
A squirming in the pit of my stomach,
Sweating and pounding.
With this vibrant hue of pink
I crave the washing away of panic.

I buy a sparkly pen.

I buy Melatonin for the insomnia.
A stubborn wakefulness,
Leaving me alone with the dark.
I have a simple desire to end consciousness
With a bitter swallow.

I buy a teddy bear.

I buy caffeine pills for the exhaustion.
For the long hours of the day
When I’m too tired to breathe.
I choke on concentrated motivation
To provide some lost enthusiasm.

I buy a pack of gum.

I stand at the counter to fill my self-prescribed medication
But, of course, I spent my paycheck on all of this last week
So I go home without anything at all
Just like last week