Where I am now and where I want to be feel like they are oceans apart.
Going from lost to found seems easy, but what happens when found is a mystery and lost is the never ending doubt of identity and self worth.

My lost looks like a cycle:
Me finding a spark of inspiration
Chasing it relentlessly
Hitting a wall of self doubt and "reality"
And going back to bed because the weight of the world is too much today.

My lost feels like a collection of ups and downs
Up
what I have to offer the world and the skills that I have will help people.
Down
I am incapable of finding love in this body of mine
People don’t look for inner beauty the way they do in movies, The self worth I feel is a illusion I created for myself because I am alone.

My lost feels like a never ending stomach  ache that I am doomed to have forever.
The body becomes so used to pain it numbs the senses.
The pounding in my head tells me the choices I make will never amount to anything.
I wonder if anyone feels the same way I do
Finding a friend in the darkness sounds nice right now.