Sometimes I just want to be reckless like folks my age tend to be.
Go out to bars, have too much to drink, find a friendly stranger to end the night with.
Will it help fill that empty space inside me?
No.
I think it would make the missing piece grow out of control.
I don’t want to be consumed by this.
This nothing.
Advice says I should be the one to make myself whole, but I’ve doubted that from the start.
Why does everyone think I’m such a strong person?
I don’t feel like it, not now.
It was easy to be strong when things were fine; I thought I could handle anything.
It seems I was wrong.
But I’m trying.
Really I am.
Yet my thoughts are inked with a poison.
Hate is far too controlling so I have caved to its powers.
I want to crush something.
Use my fists and expel all this aggression out on something that doesn't deserve it.
That’s probably not fair, but I've had enough of all this.
I've had enough of him.