My wife asked me to do the shopping
Then handed me a grocery list
It wasn't very big just some household stuff
And some other things that she had missed

"Piece of cake," I told my wife
And out the door I went
She yelled, "Don't forget to get a receipt,
So I can see how much you spent"

I got to the market and headed for the milk
It wasn't on the list per se
But being the man who knew what he wanted
I thought I'd get it anyway

Then I strolled on over to the frozen meat
And pick up some T-bone steaks
Again, it wasn't really on the grocery list
Just another one of her mistakes

I had to get some snacks for the football game
Cause a man can't have enough
I didn't check the list to see if it was there
'Cause I was busy doing other stuff

Before I knew it, the buggy was full
Okay, maybe there were three
But look at all this stuff I got
She'll be so proud of me

Nine hundred dollars and fifteen cents
And my wife got her ******* in a twist
I spent a whole months budget in twenty-five minutes
And didn't buy a thing from the list