It hurts

to be in a world full of people
and still feel so alone

Friends and shallow conversation
lackluster meaning with a crave for more

I want substance
Depth

I want to pick up the phone
But I know I shouldn't

Fighting that pain in my stomach

I can't help it

I can't do this.

I need to get away.

I'm not sure 100% of the time.

I don't know what I want.

Impulses drive my decisions.

Impulse after impulse
like wave after wave of
Neverending small pulses of electric shock
Just enough to keep you on edge.

Tick, Tick, Boom. Tick, Tick, Boom.

Twitch Twitch

Eyes bloodshot,
No sleep.
No satisfaction. No happiness.
Bah humbug.
Only scrambling to fill the void.

Scrambling, trying to fix,
Trying to cope,
Trying not to disturb the delicate border of
Hurt.

Moving from one quick fix to the next.
Hurry, Hurry. Or you'll feel the pain.
Faster, move faster. Don't stop now or
It will ***** you again.

It'll catch your heels and make
You trip and fall
Skin your knees and hands.
Get up, now run.

Scrambled, Scrambled,
Brain tattered,
Scattered messages,
Mixed and garbled

A calm face. A calm expression.
Calm mannerisms. Completely
without symptoms.

Or so it seems.