I’m not quite sure what hurt the most
Everything for me seems to be in a daze after what happened that night
Kind of like the morning fog when you’re trying to walk to school
And it’s so thick you don’t know if you’ll survive
Then you realize you’re exaggerating and the only way you won’t survive the day is if you don’t pass that math exam and get beat with the sandal when you get home
But am I exaggerating in this situation?
I feel numb
And like it’s all my fault
Even after I screamed and begged for you to stop and you wouldn’t
When you were finished you looked at me and said “you liked it though” and “calm down. You know I love you”
But is that really love?
Is forcing the person who was always there to give you the world and everything in their soul to make you happy to do things you know they didn’t want to do for your own selfish wants love?
Is it?
I think I’d rather fail my math exam and get beaten by the sandal
But unfortunately, I’m not a child anymore, so that can’t be my main concern
Instead of getting beaten by a sandal because of my laziness in failing to study since I was up all night watching novellas and writing poetry while eating Twizzlers
I was beaten by you