So what will I do with a stupid little boy who won't just think I'm great when all I want is to hold his hand? He should know better, that I don't just fall for just any old male, may be attracted, may even think they're cool, want to do naughty things, but to actually feel that's a new one- maybe he knows that my heart feels like a pathetic mess and gets embarrassingly excited when we speak, maybe he is fully aware of the effect he has on me, how I want him to be happy, want him to be near want to sleep beside him maybe I'm just getting a little ahead of myself, maybe I only like his kind words and attention and really we would not work together at all- but I don't care, it feels too good to not want to pursue, just wish I knew and that it didn't matter because there's millions of boys some probably even better but for right now I'm trapped on this one picking myself apart hoping for some miracle moment where he shows up with flowers and some deep poetry **** and I can be like a little girl from the tv beautiful and perfect and the sun will set more beautifully than ever before.