So what will I do
with a stupid little boy
who won't just think I'm great
when all I want
is to hold his hand?
He should know better,
that I don't just fall for just any old male,
may be attracted,
may even think they're cool,
want to do naughty things,
but to actually feel
that's a new one-
maybe he knows
that my heart feels like a pathetic mess
and gets embarrassingly excited when we speak,
maybe he is fully aware
of the effect he has on me,
how I want him to be happy,
want him to be near
want to sleep beside him
maybe I'm just getting a little ahead of myself,
maybe I only like his kind words and attention
and really
we would not work together at all-
but I don't care,
it feels too good to not want to pursue,
just wish I knew
and that it didn't matter
because there's millions of boys
some probably even better
but for right now
I'm trapped on this one
picking myself apart
hoping for some miracle moment
where he shows up with flowers
and some deep poetry ****
and I can be
like a little girl from the tv
beautiful and perfect
and the sun will set more beautifully than ever before.