I used to think...
Uncertainty
Was exciting.
Exuberating,
"The thrill of the unknown"
Some may say.
The thrill of your unknown.
Was addicting.
Like a sudden high,
From a dangerously addictive drug.
You know the ones.
That made you into a monster.
The ones that turned that my thrill of you,
Into a "please get me off this ride".
Into a "I'm going to throw up if I have to go through another loop".
The amusement park.
All fun and games for you,
Had some flaws in the design.
And I didn't want to put my hands in the air as I took another drop.
No, I put my hands in the air to surrender.
Because uncertainty
Is not thrilling
When my heart is a slippery piece of glass,
And you've let it fall far too many times.
The broken pieces can be put back together,
But the scars will always remain.
You say you'll hold on tighter next time,
Yet you never do.
If I have learned anything,
I have learned that your unpredictability
Romanticized by my naive heart,
Has deprived me of my own strength.
I have learned to take my glass heart
Out of your dubious care,
And childish amusement playground.
It is not a toy to be carelessly tossed around,
Picked up only for your entertainment.
But rather set upon a throne
Of admiration and dedication.
As long as these selfish games of yours continue,
Then there are two things that I know to be true:
I will always be certain of myself,
And always uncertain of you.