In all actuality, you are trying to **** me with every chance you can get.
You makes my body reject food, reject sleep…all things that can make it better.
You convince my brain of one thing, and I have to fight to do the opposite.
It’s a chore to have to shower, brush my teeth, take care of myself with you in my life.
But you know that such simple tasks are the ones that will **** you.
You tell me to give up, to just give in, that no matter how hard I try that you will still beat me.

And that is the hardest part.

You convince my brain that it wants my body to die.
But my heart, my soul doesn’t want to, it can’t.
It’s a struggle every second of my life to convince myself that what I am doing against you’re “better judgement” is really the right thing to do. But sometimes everything gets confused and that’s when I have these big break downs.
And during these breakdowns you are always winning…to the point where I am ashamed of what I’ve done.
But then I have to remind myself it was you, Depression, that let it happen.
I, Alex, had no control.
So my body is trying to **** itself one way or another and all I can do is fight back the best I can.
It’s this horrible game of tug and war that neither side is winning.
You are so exhausting.

But I’m going to beat you. I’m going to win.