physically sick
feeling like i'd love to break out of this physical shell
digging drilling further further into my brain
into nauseating omniscience
impersonal detachment
from my own self that I thought I knew so well
until faced with insurmountable complexity
and a sadistic torturous mind

i've spent days falling in and out of sleep
no sunlight
except what comes through the windows of my childhood bedroom
maybe if I dream enough he will cease to exist

I close my eyes
And as I look up he is everywhere I look
he is everything I see
standing staring back at me
the stare like needles to my eyes
I try to look away
but I forget to not look up in only a moment
and there he is again

and again

maybe if I cease to exist he will too