my distractions didn't work
by @asrz
summer came pleasently to me, as I indulged in any and every thing without you.
i went out often,
reconnected with people,
rebelled,
enjoyed myself by poolsides and in bars,
smoked all day,
drank all summer,
kissed different boys,
met people,
laughed till i cried,
all the things that joy would be made up of,
but I also cried all night.
it's funny because no matter how hard I tried to ignore any emotions and face any kind of reality, i still broke down.
I tried everything I could to not think, but you somehow crept into my mind once again one late night, and I was forced to face my demons and deal with the fact that you are not mine, and you never will be.
I do not get these breakdowns anymore, I don't shed anymore tears, but I feel a hollow empty space in my heart of pieces that echoes louder every now and then, and I don't think even you can fix that anymore.
yet I think I'll miss you forever.