summer came pleasently to me, as I indulged in any and every thing without you. i went out often, reconnected with people, rebelled, enjoyed myself by poolsides and in bars, smoked all day, drank all summer, kissed different boys, met people, laughed till i cried, all the things that joy would be made up of, but I also cried all night. it's funny because no matter how hard I tried to ignore any emotions and face any kind of reality, i still broke down. I tried everything I could to not think, but you somehow crept into my mind once again one late night, and I was forced to face my demons and deal with the fact that you are not mine, and you never will be. I do not get these breakdowns anymore, I don't shed anymore tears, but I feel a hollow empty space in my heart of pieces that echoes louder every now and then, and I don't think even you can fix that anymore. yet I think I'll miss you forever.