I use self harm to deal with my pain but at the end of the day i see that this doesn't help me it just causes more pain scars that i have to look at everyday and say to myself this is what i have to go though to help me with my pain that i'm going though, yes i understand that this is going to **** me one day, i'm suicidal i'm mentally and physically not well but i can keep a smile on and act like everything's okay because i can't open up to people and talk like you expect me to, everyone thinks oh your happy so theirs nothing wrong with you, you will get over it, who am i suppose to talk to, who can i talk to, you have to save yourself from yourself, i don't want to **** myself but i don't want to be apart of this world anymore i cant be around anyone. its a constant reminder why i'm never going to be good enough for anyone , why i am always so down.