I tried
to die
last night
and its
the oddest
feeling
the next morning

as if doors
for a
whole life
I had
wished away
have opened
up again

I can dream
again
can cry a
thousand tears
can give
life
and
give death
I am
endless
possibilities
once more
even such
as
getting
better

I tried
to die
last night
and now
I have
to go
to school
and hide
my newest
scars

I don't
normally
do so
in an
obvious
spot but
I didn't
care
last night
I was
free
last night
my wings
were out
and open
I was
flying with
the peril
of my own
last night
I didn't
think
about
tomorrow
only those
last moments

I didn't
write a
note
I didn't
let anyone
know
except
the support
group of
machines
on the
internet

I tried
to die
last night
and now
I don't
know what
to do
with myself
I have
so much
time once
again
and the
pain is back
brimming
under the
surface

its always
there

I tried
to die
and this
morning
I remember
my reasons
and scoff
at my
own attempt

I flex
my wrist
and feel
the burn
of those
newly healed
scabs
glaring at
me
from the
trickling morning
light

the light
which
murmurs
in my
ear that
I have
survived
the night

I feel
so proud
and
ashamed
because every
second
living is
another
badge on my
sash
another sticker
added to
my growing chart
another birthday
cake
another hug
from my
dearest friend
another day
of chasing
those dreams
that are
still there

and it
lets me
know
that I
still have
fight
left

and it
lets me
know
that I
still have
someone
to fight.