"It only occurred to me recently,
  that with all the rain you have
  here, nobody has thought to use
  the mystery of the mass and turn
  it into wine, so this is why I came
  up from Rome to Dublin this week,
  because, to be honest with you all,
  I have had enough of the ******
  French and the ******* they go on
  about, it is time for Ireland to have
  a miracle, one that is going to make
  the loaves and fishes look like another
  Willie Eaton story about flooding in
  his native Mallow by the Blackwater
  and Wallace's Buns floating like turds
  in The Gully at the back of his house".