my life isn't the one i've had for
twenty
some odd
years.

i am
remarkably
and
uncomfortably
out of control.

and when the sound of the laughter
of the people i've never known
or loved
or grown up with,
who are not
a part of my memory's photo album
but who are now
apparently
my family

is just too much

all i can seem to do is
turn my back
and talk to the lioness in the chain link fence.