My love is a ribbon inside of my heart...
and I'd share it with you, but you fear being bound, and tied down
and I fear it being torn apart...so I keep it inside, wrapped into a little bow.
My heart is a vase, blooming with so much emotion...
I'd show you every part of it, but you fear it spilling out
so I keep it bottled up inside of me, at least if it overflows...I'll be the only one to drown.
Little winged creatures reside in me,
little red butterflies, tickling and caressing my belly...
my organs are covered with their cocoons.
It's finally happened today... the butterflies are swarming in my stomach.
A low, buzzing, troublesome, but beautiful ache...
they're colliding into my insides, my love...
they're beginning to crack the vase.
And I bet you thought
and reduced me to nothing but a sexpot...
Were you disappointed or distraught
when you found out I was not?
With my translucent porcelain skin
and tiny blue branches within
occasionally masochistically split, broken.
I whisper through scarlet painted lips...
"This entire time you dreamt me as your mistress...
you didn't realize, I am but a damsel in distress...
in my seductive caress lies a weakness,
that corruption you gave me of stolen innocence."
You thought of me as a vulture
with a craving for flesh, impure...
but I am but a caged little bird
wishing for an escape, and a cure...
for the emptiness you left behind.
I want to be purified of your lies.
I'm glitter in your mind...
but you're dirt in mine.
You promised to treat me like a queen...
and you said you loved me, just to veil your cruelty.
You gave me all these "presents."
Just to mask the mistreatment.
Your hands cradle my neck...
Your knives are my crown.
Silver, gemmed, and delicate...
dripping my scarlet rubies.
You're the water in which I drown...
You reflect me, I've been trying to return her
to her home, to her chrysalis...
You're the thief to steal her away with your cruel tactics,
empty promises and kisses...
and lure her to your cold, lifeless, heartless body.
Why must you try to take this poor girl's soul?
You've taken her body, her shell, and poked and dragged your needles through.
I've been trying to give this damsel back her wings...
trying to take back everything you stole.
Everything you stole away from me,
I've been trying to escape your tomb,
and return back to my cocoon.
I've been trying to escape your hell...
and return me to myself.
People say things that they don't really mean...
when they're upset, and they're angry, they say such horrible things.
Wished their hands wrapped around your neck...and squeezed all the air out.
Dreamed they stabbed you in the back...and pushed you into the water, and watched you drown.
All those horrible things managed to scar me...
All their compliments and sweet nothings just disappeared completely...
swallowed by their negativity.
Because you could never wound someone with sugar-coated sappiness...
and you can never scar someone with happiness.
Bliss is such a flighty feeling, something you could catch and hold for just a minute or so.
but you have to let it go, or it's delicate powdery wings just disintegrate on your skin, now let it go...
It dies either way, right before your eyes...
One of the prettiest lies.
Now cruelty is another thing...
It crawls all over your skin, leaving slimy trails, and they cut in somehow and cause bleeding.
**Now that scars you deeply...
I pull each petal out of the flower
some petals are sweet, but some are sour.
I pull them one by one
sometimes they help me make decisions.
You make me happy...you make me sad.
You are good...you are bad.
I want you close...I want you far away.
I want you to go...I want you to stay.
I want you remembered...I want you forgot.
I love you...I love you not...
Worms take the fallen petals and they all end up devoured.
I am in control yet you still have me overpowered.
Bees have their honey, but they also have their stingers.
**Sweet but painful memories of you linger.
The thing about paper dolls...they always end up torn apart
and people offer them no remorse, because they think that the paper dolls feel no pain and have no hearts,
but I have a little puzzle heart within my origami rib cage
and it's pieces are breaking, tearing and falling away
and I suffer...Will someone ever...
help me put it back together?
Words like birds
have beautiful songs to be heard
but they also have needle-like beaks that can cause pain and hurt.
I only want to send sweet words to you,
but their wings are broken and bruised
they lose their way and never get through.
Silence like diamonds
can give a lovely sparkle,
but their sharp faceted edges can cut and be harmful.
I fear we might have become muted, my dear...
the birds have left both of us it appears.
My quiet diamonds cut into you...your semi-precious silence cuts into me...the words I lost and cannot speak...*Once more, I wish for us to be near.