When I was 14, i began
to lose myself
it took awhile for me
to completely disappear
but eventually I did

I don't really know
when I started to search for me

Like a roller coaster
I found and lost myself
over and over again
It was like my mind was playing a game

Testing me on just how much
I wanted to find myself

As I searched
I found loopholes
Beginning to understand
That even those closest to me
Believed I was okay
If i didn't show my true self

So in secret, I found a dark side
The only part of me
At the time,
That made any sense

It was so easy to get stuck in that place

after a year, i wanted
To be pulled out from this world
I wanted to feel like I was normal
But I wasn't

And I don't know if I ever will be
But I keep trying

I still haven't found me
I feel like i'm in there
but I don't know how
to pursue normalcy just yet

But I keep trying

and one day I'll be able to say...


I found me