The slow breathing,
Before the fast;
Until my body is shocked with the sudden reaction.
My mind that takes over my heart,
Will never learn to be controlled.
I will never know what it feels like to be relaxed.
Just to be unworried,
Fearless,
Brave,
& to trust.
& through the darkness,
The light appears dead in silence.
Only the sound of fear,
Plays in my head.
Only the sound of my breath,
When I try to gasp for air.
My mind pushes strong;
There is no limit.
My heart is pushed so far;
It works so hard.
& then the air within my body,
Cannot be controlled.
My breathing,
So hard.
So heavy.
So fast.
& Im at the point where I cannot breathe.
It feels so harsh,
So painful.
My body weakens.
My body is dizzy.
My fingers & toes are so numb as I shake.
It just feel like there is an earthquake.
Im unable to walk.
These attacks are controlling me.
& with the dehydration my body goes through,
The water that is finally taken into me,
Drowns me when I need the moisture.
Its so hard to think with confusion.
Its so hard to focus with distraction.
Its so hard to try and catch my breath,
When hyperventilation takes over.