Feeling down
Eyes glued to the ground
nothing can drain out that sound
in the back of my mind
all the time
tears come out
feeling momentarily paralyzed
fear coursing down
my spine
and mixed together with
adrenaline and bad nightmares
although the nightmares
were never just in my dreams
for I had already lived them through
reminding me night by night
this battle is a constant
fight
at war within
trying to fight something
I will never
win
or will I?
all I can say is I survived
yes, I am still alive.