Dear you.                                      11/08/2018

I wish you had waited.
I wish you didn't fall in love with me
So quickly
I wish you kept your feelings to yourself
I wish that I had left you alone
I wish we had let our friendship take a break
The day I wanted to end our friendship
When the thought of you being friends with Damian... Made me so insecure
And I knew that day
Being involved with you was wrong
I needed to heal
I needed time for myself
To be alone
I wish I had told you then that you should leave me alone for a few months
You and I being friends was never healthy
Memories of Damian lingered in every single conversation of ours
Every single time we kissed
I couldn't heal properly
I knew you were my connection to him
I wanted so badly to prove to him that I was happy without him
I took your phone and posted those statuses
Because I wanted him to see
And you knew that
I know you did
I'm sorry I used you
But you allowed me to

You came into my life
Wanting heal this broken girl
I don't know why
I don't know if you had a plan
If your intentions were ever pure
I don't know
But I wish we had put it on hold

I wish you came now
It's nearly a year since Damian and I now
Now would've been a good time
If I had cast you away
That day I felt so insecure
And met up now
We would've had magic
Oh you could make me laugh
God, I miss laughing with you

But I wasn't ready for a serious relationship so soon after Damian
You know I wasn't ready
But you persisted
You begged
And eventually I caved
And I went with the flow
I let you kiss me
I let you touch me
I let my inhibitions go
I let go of my purity
And I let you take everything
Without as much as a thought

It was a mistake
All of it
I was never ready
And I know you know that